Some Things I'm Learning

I think I might bullet point this one.

• Ah, so professional.
• But seriously. Here are some things I have learned recently and/or am currently learning right meow.
• Just because you become a professor does not actually mean you understand what you are teaching. Or you might have a communications roadblock that prohibits you from effectively educating students. Yes, I mean you, Geography someone-so-and-so-I'm-afraid-of-getting-an-F-if-I-name-you.
• Being an English major means you have to read. A LOT. And just because you love to read does not mean this is easy. In fact, most of the time I sit and stare at the books and wish I had the ability to do what that kid did on "The Journey of Allen Strange", you know, where he read a whole book by touching it with his alien hands? Then I watch Ellen DeGeneres.
• Does anyone remember "The Journey of Allen Strange"?
• Wanting to lose weight and ACTUALLY TRYING to lose weight are, in fact, two different things. 
• Enjoying food can be an issue with this.
• Having dreams about your teeth falling out is probably the scariest freaking dream in the entire world.
• People like to complain about everything in their lives because, in all honesty, everything revolves around them. It's normal. Everything revolves around what is going on in your life because it's YOUR life and you have all these feels and stuff, and you can't compartmentalize this stuff.
• This doesn't mean you have to listen to everything everyone says. And it doesn't mean you have to sympathize. Or agree. Sometimes you can tune them out and just nod your head and get the same results. 
• Getting older is scary. People expect you to know what you are doing because you are "educated" and "old enough to know better" and all sorts of stuff. Oh, and I love this one: "You're old enough now to be able to do this on your own." Wtf, lady! (I assume always that statements like these are made by women. Women assume things.)
• When do people get the giant handbook in the mail that explains how to be an adult?
• I CAN ACTUALLY COOK NOW.
• THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WILL.
• Watching videos of yourself when you were a newborn/toddler makes you feel all weird, like you aren't a real person. It also might have something to do with the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey-vortex of time and space.
• There are certain people you will never get along with. As you grow older, you are capable of noticing these people ON THE SPOT. These are people that are usually thrown into the same situations that you are, and you have to see them/hear them/smell them daily. This shows what kind of a person you are. 
• I am not a good person.
• I wear my feelings on my face.
• If I scrunch my eyebrows and shake my head a little, it means you are annoying.
• You might not be annoying, really, but I think you are, and everything revolves around me in my life because that's normal, according to myself.
• Texting and driving is dangerous.
• Unless you are Chuck Norris. THEN YOU DON'T EVEN NEED AUTOCORRECT.
• I don't really understand the Chuck Norris jokes.

It's easy to keep going with bullet points.