Letting It All Go

I knew, deep down, that switching over to an English major was risky. Teaching was a direct path. Doing what I really want to do is going to take a lot of faith. Luckily, when I have moments of struggle and doubt, I have people who care about me and know me well enough to know how to put me back on the right track.


I have no idea where my life is heading right now. Things are so up in the air. We are praying that D.J. gets this job with Duke, because that will set us up for some security. If he doesn't, we will have to rethink a lot of things. I don't want to put all of my eggs in one basket, but right now, I don't know what else to do. 


I want to be a writer. I don't think I've said this enough, really. It's the only thing I'm truly good at, well - something like that. I don't want to say I'm good at it and in all reality I am terrible. But it has been the constant in my life since I was young, and I have to believe that this is what I'm meant to do. I'm not trying to write anything special right now - this is just a short emotional piece for me.


I just don't know what is going to happen. I have to let it all go. I have to give God the controls. He's obviously leading me down a path, I just have to stop struggling so I can see what's out in front of me. He led me from Education to English Studies. It had to be for a reason.


It's so hard to let go.


It's so hard to lose control.