I'm Sorry

I hate the words "I'm sorry".
People do things, say things, and think "I'm sorry" should be sufficient. And sometimes, they don't even mask the "I'm not really sorry but I'm going to say it to shut you up, or at least get me off the hook" tone in their voice. So really, what are you supposed to do? Are you just supposed to say "It's fine" because they said "I'm sorry"? Can you continue on with why it really bothered you?
And I absolutely love it when the "I'm sorry" is followed by a "I said I'm sorry, what else do you want me to do?" when you continue to talk about it.
NOTHING. There's nothing you can do. Or, you can shut up and let me yell at you until I feel better, and then maybe your "I'm sorry" will be taken into consideration. If you even mean it.

Not many people apologize to me. (This is where I get all emotional and dramatic, by the way). I've learned to not let people rule my emotions. I've learned to not let people have the power to determine how I feel about myself and situations I find myself in. But it's not always easy. I've had friends do some really crappy things and somehow I still remain strong/positive/forgiving. Or I just move forward with my life without really looking back. So when people do apologize to me, I pay attention. I pay close attention to whether or not they are apologizing because they mean it or because they want me to just move along. I don't move along with a false, phony, stupid fake apology. It's like people who say "I love you" too easy. But I'd rather throw around an "I love you" (unless you are doing so to get into somebody's pants. Then shame on you) than a fake apology. Love is meant to be shared. Given. In excess. Apologizing for hurting someone is not meant to be fake.

I lost my job almost six months ago. It was a crappy job where I worked a lot, took a lot of crap, was under appreciated and underpaid. But I knew what I was doing, and I could do my job well. Of course I wasn't looking into moving up in that particular field, I am still a student and plan on doing something completely different with my life. And sure, I was under a lot of pressure planning my wedding, going to school, and working a lot of hours each week. But I did my job, and I did what was asked of me. But as soon as I came back from my honeymoon, I was fired.
Sure, I was mad/upset/confused for awhile. Hubby wanted me to go on unemployment but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to get another job for awhile because I wanted to focus on school. We don't have a lot of bills right now, and I figured going to school was my job right now. I graduate in July and then I will have a career. So I didn't want to find a crappy job that took away time from my studies (which slipped quite a bit due to that job) just to quit after a few months to find a job in my career field. It didn't make sense to me. Plus I work with Mary Kay on the side.
But it's hard emotionally. I've had a job since I was 17. I'm used to working hard. And it does make me feel guilty that my husband is the one who brings in most of our money. It is a sensitive subject for me, and I appreciate him working hard for us.
And now that I'm writing this out, I really don't want to go deep into it. I used to spill everything, but I'm starting to feel better about it and that's the whole point of this thing - to feel better. And if I don't go any further, I will feel like my issues with self-worth about having a job and bringing in my own money will be something I can deal with on my own - and the fear that my husband harbors any kind of resentment towards me not working is hopefully just in my head.

But for anyone reading this, just take some free advice. Words can hurt, and they can stick with you for quite some time. Be careful about what you say, even to someone you love and who loves you in return. Especially to someone you love. And if you are sorry, say it and mean it. And let them get their feelings out, even if it means letting go of your pride for a few minutes. Just because you are sorry doesn't mean they are done feeling the way they feel. And if you're not sorry - don't say it. A fake apology just adds fuel to the fire. And trust me, people can tell when you're not being sincere. A true apology means you will do what you can to fix it, not to make it go away.