Today was the most interesting relaxation day of my life. Well, maybe that's a stretch, I cannot really begin to remember all of the relaxing days of my life and whether this happens to be the most interesting - but I'll play the card anyway.
Today I woke up slightly ill. I did not feel well at all. I mostly blame the fact that I ate pasta last night for my Dad's birthday. I should really stop eating foods I know I shouldn't have. If I stop eating these foods, I won't crave them. I know this works because I haven't had taco bell in about 8 years, and never will again. But anyway, I was sick. I basically called into work and luckily had no classes today, so I was allowed a little R&R, which I never ever get. If I don't have class, I have work, or vice versa. I never get one full day to do absolutely...nothing. So I lounged around in my misery and watched television.
Ah, television. I turned on Netflix and tried to figure out what I would like to watch. I decided on Hoarders, Season 1. Just because I have heard so much about it and have watched an episode or two before. So my Wii made the little ding, and Hoarders began.
Now, I consider myself to be about 25% packrat. I like to keep certain things because they bring back memories. I have "memory boxes" and store them away in the closet. I'm getting lots better because I don't really collect knick knacks except for a few select items. I got rid of most of my stuffed animals and my porcelain dolls are stored for safekeeping. The most I have sitting out is my two bookshelves overflowing of books and my entertainment center overflowing of movies. I can get by with this.
However, watching Hoarders made me feel quite insecure. It's so disgusting I can't stop watching. These people actually allow their lives to be recorded and their dirty laundry displayed for all of America to see...literally. This woman was so "embarrassed that others came in to see her home the way it was" but she was parading it on television? Hoarding is a mental disorder, but they can make a few bucks on the way.
Anyways, after watching a few episodes, I felt severely inclined to clean out my room. And really clean out my room. Get rid of anything that I really don't need. I had tried to do this a few weeks ago and was mostly successful, so my job wasn't so hard this time. I got rid of some pictures of people I never talk to anymore. I threw away a lot of papers I was saving for no particular reason. But this fear in the back of my mind of becoming a hoarder almost seems ridiculous, but I can't seem to shake it. I like to keep things, and I'm a slightly unorganized person when it comes to storing things in my room. I would like to learn how to organize, so when I do have my own home, I can keep things nice. Their homes made me feel overwhelmed, and I was just watching it on television. I had this revelation that I cannot allow myself to keep things I never look at, or need. The space makes me feel much better rather than a memory that I can't recall on my own.
I have also learned that I love lists. I almost feel OCD when it comes to making lists and checking things off lists. That's another reason I love netflix. I get to watch movies, send them back, and receive another movie...all within a nice list. I watch the list get smaller. It's such a weird realization, one I cannot really vocalize well. But it makes me feel slightly OCD. And anyone who knows me knows I am not an OCD person.
So I cleaned up my room a bit. I have a final tomorrow and a final paper due tomorrow. This has been the easiest finals week I have really ever had. But I guess I should get started on the paper.
Maybe Coldplay tonight.
Cue: Fix You - Coldplay
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
No comments:
Post a Comment