Today has been one of those days.
It started out well. I got a B+ on my World Lit test and an A on my Creative Writing midterm. Then Comm came and put me in a bad mood.
Work was fine. I'm probably going to learn a lot the next few weeks.
I then had to go to campus to work on this stupid debate that's making me want to pull my hair out.
Mostly it's people who is causing me to be upset.
Of my bridesmaids, I talk to two regularly.
Of the other four, two of them I feel pretty okay about it because we are all so busy and we still maintain a good friendship.
One of them is going through a rough time, and I understand, but it still hurts.
The other one...just hurts me a lot.
I feel like the two people are my solid foundation right now.
I just feel like I give so much. I love to help my friends and be there for them and do whatever I can to make their lives easier.
I don't mean to sound like a martyr.
Because I'm not.
But I'm so tired of it.
I'm tired of people walking all over me, or not being involved in my life.
Sooner or later I'm gonna stop giving my soul to people.
I listened to the White Stripes while riding the shuttle bus back to my car tonight, hence my title. It was one of those out of body experiences where I felt like I was looking at myself. Listening to "Little Ghost" while riding in a bus with neon blue lights. It was weird.
I can't wait until 2010 is over. It's been a sucky year.
Next semester I'm taking an astronomy class. I'm kind of excited about it.
I've been watching Veronica Mars like it's my job. Not really, I don't have enough time to watch it. I'll watch half a show one time then finish it a day later or so. Today they made a reference to Citizen Kane, and I felt pretty privileged to know what it was. This is what I get for having the parents that I do.
I feel like baring (bearing? baring? no clue) my soul was a bad idea. I barely (got that one right) tell people my feelings or emotions. This is why.
Song of the Day:
Cue: More than Sorry - Ben Harper
goodbye
hasn't been so good to me
stepped out into the night
back against the moon
i saw ten thousand hands with candlelight
we all think that we're right
it's hard to tell
if the night is full of hope or doom
what more than sorry can i say
what more than sorry can i be
before our love fades away
what more than sorry
do you want from me
my eyes
burn with unshed tears
my body is weak
from so many silent years
too many people say goodbye
before they say hello
step into the morning
and disappear
what more than sorry can i say
what more than sorry can i be
before our love fades away
what more than sorry
do you want from me
what more than sorry can i say
what more than sorry can i be
before our love fades away
what more than sorry
do you want from me
it is completely ridiculous and heartbreaking that one of the best friends on the face of this earth feels like people don't want to be a part of her life. well guess what...it's their loss. because trust me...i know what its like to be your friend...and i cant think of anything better.
ReplyDeleteand smile...because even though it is hard and sucks to seem like only two people are your solid foundation...at least those two people will NEVER let you fall. some people have a foundation on people who are like half there...but not you my friend. not you :)...
i would know :)
i love you!
I love the part about listening to the Stripes and neon blue lights and an out of body experience. It happens to me, and it's just crazy and a unique memory to hold on to. Those moments aren't necessarily lonely, sometimes they are just, well, life in general, a kind of slow-down if you will. Also, I'm taking an astronomy class next semester too, so we can discuss stars and planets together and maybe even plan a trip to Mars.
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